True music lover

Santa is the true music lover.
A girl is singing in a bathroom while taking a bath and Santa is near the keyhole listening to her.

Viruses cannot be formatted

Santa being romantic to his wife: “One day God tested me, erased all my memory and asked do you remember anyone now?
I told Him your name.
He replied, “I am sorry some viruses cannot be formatted”

Loan on marriage

Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues; the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

Titanic was sinking

Titanic was sinking. Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilo meter.
Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards!

Miser

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

Getting a job

Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job."
Banta: "Did you?"
Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."

Extremely brave man

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

Bail Gaadi

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Entrance Exam

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

Akal badhi ya bhains

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains?”
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Study in medical college

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

3 fastest means of communication

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Missed Call

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon
reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

Train is coming on platform

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die because have not u heard train is coming on platform?

Lipton di chah

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

Kiss every day

Santa: I kiss my wife every day before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

Days & Money

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Reason of suicide

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi?

Biwi Se Pareshan

Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?